Annoying Job Applications (:

1. I am working in XYZ.. NSEZ Noiada. so i am sending cv for networking

(Does that make you eligible to work with Google also? The idea is not clear whether he wants a job .. or he wants networking……
And trust me I have not altered any spelling….. Noiada :) )

2. Kindly find my enclosed resume for your review and i am sure you may help me to find suitable job.
I can be reachable via - +91 0000000000

(Ya, I have recently developed this habit of reviewing resumes at mass scale ...)

3. Dear Sir /madam,
Please find my resume as attachment. Do reply with
good openings.

Profiles preferred Marketing, Marketing Analyst, Coordinator, Research.
Marketing communications , Brand management , Product Management etc.

IT profiles preferred – Business Analyst, Data Analyst, System Analyst, IT Manager,
IT Coordinator, Project manager, Product manager and other Hardcore IT
Profiles.

My education Pursuing training in core Java +Pursuing certification in Project management( PMP)+Pursuing certification in Business Analysis(BCS/ISEB)+ MBA IT(System Management)(AIMA) + MBA Marketing(iMM)

.strictly looking for non-sales profiles

(I need to create a position according to his choices.. New job for me!)

4. I am applying for a suitable post in your company, as I read lot about this company. My profile is networking and i'm good at Linux and had worked as a trainee at ________________. for one and a half month on the VoiP platform. I was their in the support team. As i worked their for very short duration so i did not mention about _________ in my resume. I am a CCNA certified and now seeking job in the field of networking. Please find the attached resume.

(Support team = 1 person .. again his profile is networking.. )

5. Dear Sir/Madam,
This email is in regards to applying job.
I am an MBA student in Telecom Marketing.I have strong language skills and understanding of fundamentals in service relationship.I have good communication and interpersonal skills and I am a keen team member and conversant with quality procedures, necessary for job.
Attaching my CV...

(whatever applies please give it to him .. strong language skills.. keen team member ..seems like 'was thrown out of many teams.. )

6. Subject – New Resume of ____ ________.

(Body – Blank … blank blank… )

7. sir
Am ______________ completed my *engineering in electronics and instrumentation
in 2010*. Apart from this i have also completed a certified program in
plc/scada/drives(industrial automation). Am sending you my resume just have
a look and let me know for the same.

(“I” has evaporated somewhere… or may be an apostrophe)

8. I'm sending resume.Please find the attachment
I am currently a fourth-year Electronics and Instrumentation Engineering student, and waiting for my last semester result & result will be published on with in 15.06.2011.
(Let his results get published on with in.. )

9. BCA + MBA

(No resume, only BCA + MBA)

10. I am _______ and I am doing my B.Tech from Techno India under W.B.U.T. I have completed my 8th semester examination and waiting fr my final result.

(What shall I do then???)

HERE GOES THE BEST ONE....

11. Dear sir.
Please check the attachment Resume File. Kindly Networking support engineer
Job position Interview Called Place in your company.
Kindly Check The Mail Request For Me.

(Only a British can understand this English.. not me)

This is PART - I.. Part - II to be released very soon.
* The applications have been posted as has been received by the writer.